Fiery Furnace

1 Peter 4:12-13
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful(fiery) trial you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Now granted at the time Paul wrote this people were being crucified and torn apart for not renouncing Christ, so doesn't that mean I should be rejoicing all the more. (Food for thought, I just learned their were more people killed in the 20 century for Christ sake than in all the years of Christendom.CRAZY!) And the fact that he says not to think it strange. Why are people so dumbfounded when bad things happen, like they actually think bad things will never happen. It's taken me a long time to realize these things are just a part of life "that God has allowed." And to have joy throughout these trials is even weirder to hear. But we have the definition of joy all messed up. My old definition of joy was being so high I couldn't see straight. Others range from having tons of money to having the most toys or having the perfect relationship. The joy of the Lord is our strength. We should have joy knowing that God is in control and He is letting these certain things happen for your benefit here on earth and in His kingdom. So, I guess what I'm trying to do is preach to myself. In my past blogs I have told about my mom and her husband splitting up. Well, it happened last night and I was left talking to Mike while mom was at work. This morning she came home and they quietly decided who was going to get what and how they were going to split their income taxes. WEIRD. Mike is taking it better than I thought, but he knew it was coming. This affects me because I don't agree with my mom, nor does she care. She's going to do what she wants to do. She always has and always will. Men have always been a problem for my mom and that rubbed off on me. By the grace of God I am free from that bondage today, and mom could be too, but she doesn't want to go through the "sufferings" to get to the freedom. Our relationship is strained because of this. We aren't talking like we use to and the sad part is we just started talking like normal mother and daughter about 3 months ago. So she is going to jump from man to man and here is Allie and I wondering what next. The Word says "shun evil." That means even if it is your family. How do you do that? My mom is the only family I have, besides Allie. I "feel" completely alone, because I've cut off everybody else. I know it's not the truth. I have great support at the mission, but at this point that seems so far away. Today was a hard day to hold it together. Mike couldn't stop talking about it and in the end I didn't know what to say, because I can't even think straight. My life is also changing rapidly and I feel like blowing up. So, are you ready to hear the bad news? Ha. Just joking. The good news is I'm still clean. Praise the Lord. Not to say I haven't thought a drink wouldn't be good right now, but I haven't acted on it, nor will I. So, with all this going on and still trying to find a home for my daughter and I, and trying to find a job while being a convicted felon, and trying to get a drivers license, I still have a smile on my face. And only because God puts it there. I can't wait to see what I'm going to be writing in my blog this time next month, because I know God is going to come through. I just don't know how. This adrenaline junkie just got excited.
Lord, I need you, I cannot get through another day without you.