INDICTED AGAIN

Everyday has been a stuggle for me to stay positive in my situation, but God carries me through. To catch you up on my situation, I'll tell you a little bit about this past year. 2008 is the year God said, "O.k. that's enough!!!" I have been an addict from the age of 15. I've been addicted to it all. Alcohol, cocaine,crack, prescription drugs, heroine, you name it, I've withdrawed from it. I got charged with 3 counts of recieving stolen property and couldn't stay clean long enough to get through my trial. I ended up getting 2 DUI's that put my case in worse shape. My first circuit court hearing I fell asleep in the bench because I was hung over from the night before. I had no idea what I was in for and didn't care because I was so messed up. I ended up bargaining with God on the jail house floor. I asked Him if He would get me out of there I would not drink for 3 years.(That's how long I was on probation) God was merciful and got me out. 6 months later on Halloween night I had my first drink in 6 months(although I had been getting high on other things for the past 3 months) 2 weeks later my p.o came knocking on my door and arrested me. Mind you, I have a beautiful little girl who is caught in the whirlwind of my addiction at the same time. My mom and her husband had left that day to go to Ohio to my step-brother's funeral. The cops had shot him to death and I just wanted to stay home and get high. I stayed in jail for 2 months and by the grace of God, Judge Miracle ( and yes, that's his real name) filled in for my original judge on my court day. He knew these people in London, Ky at the Lighthouse Rescue Mission and referred me to treatment. I am blessed to have not gone to prison that day. Anyway, I figured I would pull my 6 months in rehab and go home and just live better without drugs. God had different plans. He completely turned my world upside down. Patty and Scottie Sumner are 2 people God used to save my life. The mission is a Christ-based, Bible based facility or better said "home." I actually ended up staying 10 months total and I missed my babygirl terribly. But the Lord gives you a peace that passes all understanding when you are within His will. While at the mission I was indicted again for the pills they found on me when they arrested me at my house for failing a urine test on heroine and methadone. Sometimes I wondered what I was even holding on for. Wondering if I was going to go through all this and still end up in prison. I just recently went back to court and they've set a trial date for February 26th. I'm scared, but God knows my heart and my desires and I know he's got my back. But....I got indicted again on 12/30/08 for the gun the DEA agents found in my house. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't a convicted felon. It is my mom's husbands' gun, but that doesn't matter to the cops. They have deliberately brought this out after my recovery to try and lock me up anyway. I know they are just doing there job. If you look at my rap sheet, it looks like I have no respect for the law, and truth be told, I didn't a year ago. I am a new creation in Christ. I don't even think the same. I get convicted if I drop a piece of trash and don't pick it up. It's been difficult to get use to my new life and I'm holding on to God's promise that His will is good, pleasing, and perfect. And if I delight myself in the Lord, he will give me the desires of my heart. My desire is to raise my daughter the way a Godly mother should and the work at the mission to help other girls come through the darkness of addiction. And I trust God. That's even weird to hear myself say, because I didn't grow up in church. I'm not religious none whatsoever. 2008 God said, "That's enough" and he's done a tremendous work on me these last 12 months. And it's even weirder to say, "I wouldn't change it for anything."