Mommy I'm Sick

Yesterday was a hard day. I was running a temperature all day and my body hurt so bad. I have ulcers from excessive worry, drinking and drugging, they were killing me too. When I get sick like that, it reminds me of withdrawals. It pretty much puts me back in 2004 when I found out I was pregnant with Allie and had to withdraw off heroin for the first time. Cold sweats, body hurts just breathing, puking, and going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. It's not a pretty site. I guess it's good that I am reminded of this, it makes me even more determined not to go back down that road. My mom was suppose to come to church today, but church was cancelled and there is black ice all over the roads. That bummed me out cause I miss Allie and her so much. I text my mom asking her to bring me medicine. I called her "Mommy" I haven't said that since I was 5. It's nice to have a real relationship with my mom for the first time in my life. She couldn't come, but my spiritual mother got my back. Patty can diagnose just about anything. She gave me a prilosec and I was on my way to slumber heaven. I guess my body is telling me I'm stressed about something and I don't even realize it until I'm practically bedridden. With my new position in the world now and facing court, I guess I am a little stressed. I'm not worried though. Does that make sense? Anyway, I feel better today. Yippeeeee.