Me Now

O.K, so I go to the mission last night for Bible Study and Patty tells me I need to put an updated picture on my blog. She said in my profile picture I was probably high and she's right. So, this is me today. I just recently got a bad haircut. So for future reference if you go inside a salon where they smoke while cutting your hair and tell one of their employees their not wearing their good glasses while cutting their finger and bleeding, just don't do it. Lesson learned. Anyway, my spirits were lifted after the study last night. Just being around these wonderful people is a blessing to me. My circumstances haven't changed since my last blog, but my attitude has. I went to go pack my stuff at the mission and when I got there I found it sitting at the front door already packed. My heart actually dropped. Tanya, my best friend, had moved her pictures into the room we both were supposed to move in and my stuff was in a suitcase at the front door!!! It's not surprising to me. Since the day I was born I have practically been living out of a suitcase. It just hurts not to get what "you think you need and what you think God wants you to do." I've learned to stop planning things any whatsoever. I'm actually looking forward to this new challenge. Usually when my back is against the wall I do my best, but my best is nothing compared to Gods'. So, I am waiting on the Lord to guide me. Literally, I have no dog in this fight, there is nothing I can do about my family falling apart, but I can still seek the Lord each and everyday and be the best Godly mother I can be. Little by little God will walk me through this trial. When I got home last night I unpacked my stuff and found a card from Tanya and a scarf she made me. It brought tears to my eyes, because she knows I'm going through a very difficult time and she is always there. In the past, my so called "friends" would just give me a pill or something and I was so grateful. I was soooo ignorant! But anyway, Tanya if you read this, I love ya girl. I don't know why I've been getting so emotional lately. I'm usually a very hard edged person, well, I use to be before Christ became a part of my life. It's scary to be as open as I am now, because there is room to be hurt. I'm still trying to get use to who I am in Christ. I find myself wanting to love on people and encourage people. The old me had a "Bubble." You did not enter my bubble unless you had something I wanted. Christ refines me more and more everyday. I am in the fiery furnace. Praise the Lord He considers me worthy of His kingdom, to prepare me before I even get there.