Martha, Martha.........

Yesterday was a weird and upsetting day. Good cause the Lord spoke to me and set me straight and bad cause my mom spoke to me and wrote me off as a daughter. Well, she didn't actually speak, she text me. I will start from the beginning. Before work yesterday I got in the word, well, actually it was one of those times when you just open up the Bible and on that very page is a word from God. It was weird because I have post-it notes in my Bible from past sermons in church. I write all over my Bible. And on this particular day, page and post it note was a word from God. Last year on 4/08/08 the Lord told me the same thing. Luke 10:41 "Martha, Martha" the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her."
I have been running myself to death, physically and mentally. My mind is constantly running trying to remember "what do I have to do next." I've been tempted alot lately and I just haven't been keepin the main thing the main thing. And when you lose sight of Jesus, frustration is the symptom. So, I was determined to keep my eyes on God all day and sit at Jesus' feet, even while I cleaned hotel rooms. Then my mom contacted me. We haven't seen each other or talked since she left with this other man. She text a few times wondering when she could see Allie. Well, this time I told(text) her that she couldn't see Allie alone but maybe next week we could go to McDonalds or the park and hang out for a few hours. She ask "What do you mean not alone?" I told her this was a stupid question considering she cheated on her husband lied to us both and left her own daughter for another man just like old times. You've got to understand my mom. She's never apologized to me for ANYTHING. She's hard headed and proud. She manipulates you so you feel like your wrong. I learned all my bad traits from her. She's got demons she doesn't want to try hard enough to get rid of. She takes her pills and jumps from man to man, just like I use to. I am so grateful for God's grace or I would still be like my mom today. The difference between my mom and I is that I received God's grace and I went through alot of emotional pain to end up free. God wants the same for her, she just can't except it. I can't stand Satan, he blinds multitudes from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway, moving on to her reply...........hold on, I'll give it to you verbatim, "If u cant trust me with my granddaughter and you cant except ron n my life then i cant except u n my life ill never text or call u again u turn ur back on me now im turning my back on you( oh,sorry, "u") i dont need u and i dont want to hear from u ever again i love allie and i dont need u n my life i have another daughter(what! I'm an only child) good bye"
So, needless to say, I was upset and thought about telling her how happy she just made me, but that was my flesh talking and it certainly wasn't true. So I didn't respond. I don't know why things are turning out like this. I've always wanted a family. Now I have no family. I have my daughter and I want her to have a big family with 2 parents who are totally devoted to God and each other. I think I have unrealistic expectations in a world like today. But I refuse to settle for less. I'm tired of people saying " That's Life." That's crap!!! God said in Jerimiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I want those plans.......and I will wait on the Lord.